Last Tuesday, I was trying to get Sophie ready for bed while Caius screamed in his high chair because I gave him the wrong color sippy cup. My phone was buzzing with work emails, the dishwasher was beeping, and I could hear Joslyn upstairs dealing with a client crisis.
In that moment, I had two choices: completely lose it, or remember what I’d been learning about mindfulness.
I chose option three: I hid in the pantry for 30 seconds and ate a granola bar while questioning my life choices.
But then I tried the mindfulness thing.
Mindfulness isn’t about being zen—it’s about not losing your shit
I used to think mindfulness was for people who had time to sit cross-legged and hum. But it’s actually just paying attention to what’s happening right now instead of spiraling about everything that’s wrong.
Research shows that mindfulness reduces stress and actually makes you more productive. For parents, this translates to: less yelling, more patience, and the ability to find your keys without having a panic attack.
How to practice mindfulness when your life is chaos
Take 10 minutes for yourself (yes, really)
I know, I know. “Take time for yourself” is the most useless advice when you have tiny humans demanding snacks every 12 minutes. But here’s the thing: you don’t need to meditate in silence.
I do my 10 minutes while my coffee brews in the morning. I just stand there, feel my feet on the ground, notice what I can hear and smell. Sometimes Caius is babbling in his high chair, sometimes the dog is barking. That’s fine. I’m not trying to create silence—I’m just trying to be present.
Practice gratitude (even when everything sucks)
When Sophie is having a meltdown about wearing pants and Caius is refusing to eat anything that isn’t goldfish crackers, it’s hard to feel grateful. But mindfulness isn’t about toxic positivity.
Instead of thinking “I’m grateful for my beautiful children” (while internally screaming), I try smaller things: “I’m grateful this tantrum is happening at home and not at Target.” Or “I’m grateful we have goldfish crackers to fall back on.”
Sometimes I’m just grateful that bedtime exists.
Be consciously present
This one sounds fancy, but it just means paying attention to what you’re actually doing instead of running on autopilot.
When I’m reading to Sophie, I focus on the story instead of mentally planning tomorrow’s meals. When I’m feeding Caius, I notice his little hands grabbing the spoon instead of scrolling my phone.
It’s harder than it sounds because parent brains are always three steps ahead, but when I manage it, these moments actually become enjoyable instead of just items to check off.
Stop multitasking (or at least try)
Multitasking feels productive when you’re juggling kids, work, and household management. But studies show it actually makes you less efficient and more stressed.
I’ve started doing one thing at a time, even if it’s something small. When I’m making lunch, I just make lunch. When I’m answering emails, I just answer emails. When Caius wants to show me his block tower for the 47th time, I actually look at the block tower.
My brain fights this because it wants to optimize everything, but single-tasking makes me feel calmer and more in control.
Accept what you can’t change
Some days, the house is a disaster, dinner is cereal, and everyone’s wearing yesterday’s clothes. Mindfulness means accepting that this is just life with small kids sometimes.
I used to waste so much energy beating myself up for not being the perfect parent. Now I try to accept that I’m doing my best with what I have today. Some days my best is elaborate meal prep and educational activities. Other days my best is keeping everyone alive and fed.
Both are okay.
Adopt a growth mindset
I’m not naturally patient. I’m not naturally calm. But mindfulness has taught me that these aren’t fixed traits—they’re skills I can develop.
When I lose my temper over spilled milk (literally), I don’t write myself off as a “bad parent.” I notice what happened, figure out what triggered me, and try to handle it better next time.
Progress, not perfection.
The real goal of mindfulness
Mindfulness isn’t about becoming a zen master or never getting stressed. It’s about noticing your thoughts and feelings without immediately reacting to them.
When Sophie is testing every boundary and Caius is overtired and cranky, mindfulness helps me pause for a beat before responding. Sometimes that pause is the difference between a calm conversation and a full family meltdown.
The bottom line
Parenting is overwhelming. Your brain is constantly spinning with mental to-do lists, worst-case scenarios, and logistics. Mindfulness doesn’t make any of that go away, but it helps you handle it without completely losing yourself in the chaos.
And when you do lose it (because you will), mindfulness helps you find your way back faster.
Plus, your kids are watching. When they see you take a deep breath instead of immediately exploding, they’re learning that emotions are manageable. That’s a gift that will serve them their whole lives.
— Derek
To your health!
Derek Opperman
Chief Wellness Officer at LifeUP
“I help parents reclaim their energy — not just physically, but emotionally too. Because when you feel better, everything in your life lights up: your parenting, your patience, your purpose. My approach is about small changes that ripple out into big transformation.”
