I need to be honest with you right up front: I’m not one of those people who’s naturally good at sleep.
My mom’s side of the family? Terrible sleepers. All of them. My grandmother used to say she hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since 1973. My mom would be up at 2 AM reorganizing the pantry. And me? I inherited the whole delightful package.
I slept great as a kid. Head hit the pillow and I was out until the alarm went off for school.
But as an adult, with mounting pressures to provide for a family (coupled with some bad habits like late night snacking and doom scrolling), I suddenly found myself tossing and turning or waking up hours before I was set to. It was maddening
“Did you sleep okay?” Joslyn would ask in the mornings, hopeful for me.
“Yeah, fine,” I’d lie, not wanting her to worry. I’m sure she knew otherwise by my irritability or under eye bags.
But I wasn’t fine. I was often exhausted. Running on caffeine. And I’d pretty much accepted that this was just how my body worked—I had devolved into a bad sleeper, end of story.
Then I had a realization that changed everything: maybe I wasn’t naturally bad at sleep. Maybe I just didn’t have a system that worked with my body’s needs instead of against them.
So I did what any desperate health professional would do—I researched. Not about how “normal” people sleep, but about what helps difficult sleepers like me actually get rest.
What I found didn’t cure anything, but it gave me tools to work with what I’ve got.
And honestly? That’s made all the difference.
The Problem With How Most of Us End Our Days
Here’s what my evenings used to look like in years back:
Finish dinner at 7 PM. Immediately collapse on the couch. Snack mindlessly while watching TV until 9. Realize I haven’t prepped anything for tomorrow. Panic. Eat more snacks. Finally get to bed around 10 with my mind spinning.
Sound familiar?
The problem isn’t that we’re lazy or undisciplined. The problem is we’re fighting against our own biology.
Your body has a natural wind-down process. A rhythm that’s designed to transition you from active day to restorative sleep. When you ignore that rhythm—or worse, actively sabotage it—everything suffers.
Your sleep quality tanks. Your morning energy disappears. Your mood, your digestion, your hormones, even your relationship with your partner—all of it takes a hit.
But here’s the thing: when you work with your body’s natural rhythms instead of against them, the changes are almost immediate.
The Evening Routine That Actually Works
This isn’t some wellness guru’s fantasy schedule. This is what I actually do now, most nights, as a regular person with real responsibilities and limited willpower.
Finish Dinner 2+ Hours Before Bed
I used to think late-night eating was fine as long as I wasn’t overeating.
Wrong.
Your digestive system needs time to process food before you lie down. When you eat too close to bedtime, your body is still working to digest while trying to sleep. That’s like asking someone to run a marathon while taking a nap.
Impossible.
Now I aim to finish dinner by 7 PM if I’m going to bed around 9:30. The difference is night and day. No more acid reflux. No more waking up feeling bloated. Just better sleep.
What that dinner looks like: A palm-sized portion of gluten-free starch (potato, rice, or quinoa), 1-2 thumb-sized portions of healthy fat, and a palm-sized portion of protein. All of it warmed.
Why warmed? Cold food requires more energy to digest. Your body is trying to wind down, not fire up the digestive furnace.
Light Movement After Dinner
This one was a game-changer.
Ten to fifteen minutes of gentle movement after dinner helps with digestion and regulates blood sugar. I’m not talking about a workout. I’m talking about a walk around the block, some easy stretching, or a short yoga routine.
Some nights I just foam roll on the living room floor while my daughter tells me about her day.
The point isn’t intensity. The point is movement that signals to your body: “We’re transitioning now. Day is ending.”
The Hot/Cold Shower Hack
Okay, this one sounds weird, but stay with me.
The dilation and contraction of blood vessels in your hands and feet is the best physiological predictor of rapid sleep onset. Translation? When your extremities go from warm to cool and back again, your body gets the signal: time to sleep.
Here’s what I do: Jump in the shower while it’s still cold. Let it gradually warm up. Stay in the warmth for about 20 seconds. Then turn it back to cold for another 20 seconds. Repeat this 2-5 times.
It’s uncomfortable. Not going to lie. But it works.
Plus, the minor discomfort makes getting into bed feel like the greatest luxury on earth.
The Sleep Stack: Melatonin, Magnesium, Chamomile
I used to think supplements were for people who couldn’t figure out “real” health solutions.
Then I actually tried this combination and realized I’d been an idiot.
The stack:
- 10-20mg sublingual liquid melatonin (under the tongue, absorbs faster)
- 1 teaspoon magnesium citrate mixed with hot water
- One cup of hot chamomile tea
I take these about 30-45 minutes before bed. Not as a crutch, but as support for what my body’s already trying to do naturally.
Melatonin signals sleep time. Magnesium relaxes muscles and calms the nervous system. Chamomile adds gentle sedative properties.
Together? They’re magic.
Breathwork: Five Minutes That Change Everything
“I don’t have time for breathwork.”
Neither do I. That’s why I only do five minutes.
Through the nose only. Inhale for five seconds. Exhale for five seconds. Set a timer. Repeat for five minutes.
That’s it.
This simple practice shifts your nervous system from “fight or flight” to “rest and digest.” It’s not meditation. It’s not spiritual. It’s just physiology.
And it works.
Prep for Tomorrow Tonight
This one might be the most important of all.
Before bed, I prep tomorrow’s food, pack my gym bag, and lay out my outfit. Takes maybe ten minutes. Saves me thirty minutes of morning chaos and approximately seventeen decisions I don’t want to make when I’m half-asleep.
But more importantly, it clears my mind.
When I know tomorrow’s accountabilities are handled, I’m not lying in bed at 10 PM mentally running through everything I need to remember. My brain can actually rest.
Sleep Within 3 Hours of Sunset
This is the ideal, and I’ll be honest—I don’t always hit it.
But here’s what I learned: your cortisol levels naturally drop to their lowest point around 8:30-9:30 PM. That’s your body’s ideal sleep window.
When you push past that window and force yourself to stay up, you get a second wind. Your cortisol ticks back up. And suddenly it’s midnight and you’re wide awake watching YouTube videos about how to fall asleep.
Ironic.
Now I aim for bed between 8:30-9:30 PM most nights. Yes, even on weekends. My friends think I’m boring. My body thinks I’m brilliant.
Binaural Beats (The Secret Weapon)
I was skeptical about this one. Alpha-wave sounds that promote relaxation? Sounded like hippie nonsense.
But I tried it anyway.
Put on binaural beats (you can find them on Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube—anywhere). Close your eyes. Let the sound do its thing.
I don’t know if it’s the science or the placebo effect, but I don’t care. It works. My mind stops racing. My body relaxes. Sleep comes easier.
Wake at Sunrise
This completes the cycle.
Going to bed early means waking up early. And waking with the sunrise helps reset your natural circadian rhythm for the next day.
No jarring alarm in the dark. No hitting snooze seventeen times. Just your body waking naturally with the light.
It sounds impossible if you’re currently waking up at 7 AM feeling like death. But when you go to bed at 9 PM, waking at 5:30 or 6 AM actually feels… good?
I know. I didn’t believe it either.
The Results (AKA: Why Joslyn Stopped Being Mad at Me)
After two weeks of this routine, Joslyn noticed the difference before I did.
“You seem more rested,” she said one weekend morning.
She was right. I wasn’t short or terse. I wasn’t dragging through the afternoon. I had energy to actually engage with my family instead of just surviving until bedtime.
The changes weren’t subtle:
- I fall asleep within 10-15 minutes instead of lying awake for an hour
- I sleep through the night without waking up seventeen times
- I wake up before my alarm, actually feeling rested
- My mood is better
- My digestion improved
- Even my workouts got better because I actually had energy
And the best part? Joslyn and I have our evenings back. We’re not just two exhausted people existing in the same house. We actually talk, connect, sometimes even have energy for… other activities.
(You know what I mean.)
The Real Talk: You Won’t Do This Perfectly
Some nights, life happens. Your kid gets sick. Work explodes. You have dinner with friends and don’t get home until 10 PM.
That’s fine.
The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is having a framework that supports you most nights, and the flexibility to let it go when you need to.
I probably hit this routine 5-6 nights a week. The other 1-2 nights? I do what I can and give myself grace.
That’s enough.
Because even imperfect implementation of a good system beats perfect execution of no system at all.
Start With What’s Manageable
If this whole routine feels overwhelming, start with three things:
- Finish dinner 2+ hours before bed
- Do the hot/cold shower routine
- Prep tomorrow’s stuff tonight
Just those three will change your sleep quality significantly.
Add the others as they become habits. Build slowly. Be patient with yourself.
Your body has been running on fumes for a long time. Give it time to remember what actual rest feels like.
Ready to transform your evenings and finally get the sleep you deserve? Download the complete Excellent Evening Routine guide with timing charts, supplement recommendations, and troubleshooting tips for when life doesn’t cooperate.
[Get Your Evening Routine Guide]
P.S. Yes, going to bed at 9 PM means missing some late-night TV. But I promise you—waking up feeling like an actual human being is worth way more than whatever’s on Netflix.
— Derek
To your health!
Derek Opperman
Chief Wellness Officer at LifeUP
“I help parents reclaim their energy — not just physically, but emotionally too. Because when you feel better, everything in your life lights up: your parenting, your patience, your purpose. My approach is about small changes that ripple out into big transformation.”
