May is Mental Health Month, which means your inbox and social feeds might be filled with green ribbons, statistics, and reminders to “check in on your strong friends.”
But today, I want to share something more personal.
Because mental health isn’t just something we post about – it’s something many of us live through, love through, and sometimes survive through.
For me, mental health has never been an abstract issue.
It’s the voice of my mom on a good day – funny, sharp, affectionate.
It’s also the silence of her room on a bad one.
A Mixed Bag of a Childhood (…where “hold on” became the default setting)
Growing up, my mom had bipolar disorder. Though she was diagnosed later in life, the signs were always there.
Some days, she was luminous – baking muffins, humming tunes, and dancing in the kitchen. Other days, she was unreachable: expansive, belligerent, sometimes lost in a psychotic episode. There were stretches where she couldn’t get out of bed.
My sister and I never knew which version of her we’d come home to.
To be honest, it was exhausting. (And it still can be, though thanks to medication and years of work, her episodes are fewer now.)
For years, her illness made it impossible for her to hold a job. Eventually, she became a teacher – a role she poured herself into. But a manic episode ended her teaching career after two successful years. She was devastated. And I was, too.
I’ve always wondered what might have been different if her school had seen her experience as a teaching moment, not a liability. What if instead of quietly letting her go, they had supported her?
How many other moms, dads, teachers, or teens are in her shoes right now?
💬 Let’s Be Clear: You’re Not Alone
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):
- 1 in 5 U.S. adults lives with a mental illness
- 1 in 25 lives with a serious mental illness
- And post-pandemic, anxiety and depression rates have risen dramatically – especially for teens and young adults
But these aren’t just stats. They’re people we share breakfast with. People we love. People we’ve grown up with – or are raising ourselves.
Mental illness isn’t always visible. But it leaves trails:
- Mood swings
- Fatigue
- Isolation
- Risk-taking
- Sleepless nights
- And in the case of bipolar disorder, periods of euphoric energy followed by crushing lows
No one expects you to diagnose anyone. But recognizing these signs can help us stay curious, compassionate, and open to offering support – without jumping into fix-it mode.
💛 What I’ve Learned from Loving Someone with a Mental Illness
Being a son of someone with bipolar disorder has taught me a lot.
Being a parent has taught me even more.
Here are a few things I’ve learned – usually the hard way:
1. Normalize the conversation
Talk about mental health like you talk about physical health. No whispers. No shame. Just care.
2. Model boundaries and rest
You can’t pour from an empty cup – or a stressed-out nervous system. Protect your peace when you can.
3. Create space, not solutions
You don’t have to fix it. Sometimes sitting beside someone in their darkness is more powerful than trying to drag them into the light.
4. Look for early signs
Especially with bipolar disorder, early shifts matter – getting knee deep in projects, talking a mile a minute, staying up all night? These aren’t “quirks.” They’re cues for care.
5. Know what’s out there
Get to know Hotlines. Support groups. Online communities. Family therapists. You don’t have to do it all on your own. (And spoiler: you’re not supposed to.)
6. Celebrate the small wins
Getting out of bed might be the win today. Let that count. Let that be enough.
🧠 This Mental Health Month…
Let’s drop the stigma and raise the volume.
Whether you’re loving someone with a mental illness, living with one yourself, or just trying to show up better – you’re part of the story. And your presence matters more than you think.
You don’t need to be perfect.
You don’t need to have the answers.
You just need to keep showing up with empathy.
And that’s more than enough.
To your health!
Derek Opperman
Chief Wellness Officer at LifeUP
“I help parents reclaim their energy — not just physically, but emotionally too. Because when you feel better, everything in your life lights up: your parenting, your patience, your purpose. My approach is about small changes that ripple out into big transformation.”
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